


What Happened Last Night?

by CloudMonsta



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Clubbing, M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs, They Don't Know Each Other au lol, except it's more like just clubs and clubbing???, has GOT to be the sane and responsible adults around here, it's really just full of shenanigans tbh, naturally wakawakachan and daichi tag team it, subtle daichi/wakawakachan broship just roll with it ok, they work together with the dingus pair SOMEBODY, this thing I think I half made up called a 'glitter dancer' lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:12:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudMonsta/pseuds/CloudMonsta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Daichi wakes up that morning, it's to the worst headache he's ever had in his life.<br/>"What happened last night…?" he shakily groans to himself, attempting to roll over and frowning in confusion when his arm is stuck to the sheet. Grimacing, he peels it free, and when it finally flops off the side of the bed, he's only plunged further into confusion at the spray of sticky flakes of shiny silver glitter that now litter his bedroom floor.<br/>The only thing that registers in his sleepy, achy mind, is that there's a chicken dancing the Macarena against his skull right now, and that that glitter was going to take forever to clean up.</p><p>Daichi wakes up The Morning After and has to go on an adventure to find out what, exactly, DID happen last night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happened Last Night?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Siseja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siseja/gifts).



> Christmas gift fOR MY LOVELY SISEJA because apparently daisugas are what I do for ur christmas gifts now lol. Thankfully this one didn't spawn aN ENTIRE HC VERSE (I need to write more for the hc verse tho I haven't written anything for it in awhile) I LOVE YOU GOOSE

When Daichi wakes up that morning, it's to the worst headache he's ever had in his life.

"What happened last night…?" he shakily groans to himself, attempting to roll over and frowning in confusion when his arm is stuck to the sheet. Grimacing, he peels it free, and when it finally flops off the side of the bed, he's only plunged further into confusion at the spray of sticky flakes of shiny silver glitter that now litter his bedroom floor.

The only thing that registers in his sleepy, achy mind, is that there's a chicken dancing the Macarena against his skull right now, and that that glitter was going to take forever to clean up.

"It's too early for this," he decides, rolling over with a final whine and going back to sleep.

 

 

It's a few hours later when his phone's incessant noise wakes him up again. He fumbles blindly for the noise maker, distantly registering that it must be Bokuto, because he's pretty sure the ringtone is what can only be considered a cacophony of screeching owls. He finally slaps his hand in the right spot, and hauls it up against his sleepy face, flipping it open and just _growling_ into the phone in greeting.

"Good morning Daichi! Kuroo, the guys, and I are gonna play a pickup game at the gym so you better GET UP and get your ass here by two." Bokuto's cheery tone doesn't do much to abate Daichi's sour mood, but a glance at the clock – and seeing it was already noon – tells him he'd have to get up soon anyways. After all, he was generally a productive member of adult society… he can't exactly lay in bed all day.

No matter how… enticing… that idea may be.

Grimacing as he moves his tongue around his mouth, and feeling like a small fluffy animal had curled up and _died_ in there recently, Daichi grumbles into the phone in a semblance of human speech. "Alright, alright, I'll be there," he manages to get out before yanking the phone away from his ear as Bokuto nearly deafens him with a happy screech.

"It's _still_ too early for this," he sighs to himself, before finishing up the phone call and setting his cell back on his dresser and taking stock of his body. His headache appears to have calmed down with the extra four hours of sleep, and is now more of a gentle pounding. He yawns widely as he sits up, brow furrowing as his back and legs whine in protest. Had he decided to run a half-marathon or something last night?

Deciding to just power through it, he pushes his sheets to the end of the bed and stands up, hearing a quiet whoosh as more shiny flakes flew around and settled to the floor. "I'm gonna have to vacuum the entire apartment… and myself," he huffs, scratching at the back of his arm and dislodging so much silver glitter it's as if he's gained a second skin of the stuff.

"Where did we even _go_ last night??" He asked himself, starting towards the bathroom for a hot shower.

 

 

 

"… and then we left because Kuroo forgot he had that paper to write, but you wanted to hang around, and since you were only slightly buzzed we weren't really worried so we left you there, why?"

Daichi had tuned out at least half of Bokuto's comment and now he sighs, realizing they didn't know what happened last night either. At least he knew where they had gone drinking, though. Somehow he'd allowed the others to convince him to go out DRINKING with them. Usually he knew better than to get blackout drunk, and was a reasonably responsible drinker. It was always an adventure and a half whenever he and his coworkers went out drinking… most of the time he could at least recall whatever stupid thing Kuroo ended up cajoling him into, though. (His favorite to date was the impromptu duets of classic English R&B songs, they had gotten kicked out of that particular bar by the end of the night, but it was _definitely_ worth it to warble along to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" for the better part of the night.) But it was the very rare occasion where Daichi didn't remember the night at all.

"Man, been awhile since I've gotten _that_ drunk…" he muses.

"Why, have a bad hangover this morning or something?" Bokuto cocks his head to the side curiously, while Ushijima mumbles something about "this is why I don't go drinking with you three" in the background.

"You don't go drinking with us because you're a _lightweiiiiiiiight_ ," Daichi hears Kuroo's teasing voice calling from the other side of the court.

"Well, yeah, but that wasn't too much of a surprise," Daichi shrugs, taking the opportunity to lean over and start stretching. "I'm more confused by the fact that there was a bag of smashed cookies on my kitchen counter, a really polite sticky note, and a literal _trail_ of glitter throughout my apartment." He groans as he stretches out his sore muscles, and leans to the other side. "My vacuum broke last month and I haven't replaced it yet, so it's going to be a _really_ big pain to clean it up…"

"Oho?" Kuroo bounds up next to them, "what's this I hear? Is our darling Daichi _sore_?" He claps his hand down on Daichi's back in a hearty slap. "Get some!"

"Kuroo," Daichi growls in a warning, "I'm holding you personally responsible if I find out I've contracted some weird glitter disease. Also I'm going to steal your vacuum."

Kuroo just shrugs, and Ushijima calls over asking when they were going to get this two-on-two game started, so Daichi lets the topic drop as he jogs over to join Ushijima on the other side of the net.

Normally they jokingly call their teams "sanity" and "madness," but after what he'd woken up to that morning Daichi is starting to wonder if he was on the right team…

 

 

 

When he'd rolled out of bed to gather clean clothes for his shower, he got distracted by the fact that there was more than just a bunch of glitter he'd tracked in himself scattered around near his bed. No, there was a straight up _trail_ of glitter leading all the way to his bedroom door. "What… the… Hell…?" He questions, forgetting entirely about his shower and instead following the trail throughout his apartment. It led through the living room to his small kitchen space, up to the counter and back.

When he reaches the counter, he frowns when he notices a little plastic bag and a sticky note underneath it. Daichi picks up the back and stares at it, trying to figure out what was in it – it _looked_ like cookies. But they weren't exactly in any semblance of good condition. They almost looked like someone had sat on them…

Thinking it couldn't get any weirder, he picked up the sticky note and glanced at it.

"Thanks for the great night! I really enjoyed it. Sweets always help me with a hangover, so they're a little crushed, but I hope you'll accept my humble offer! (They're chocolate chip btw, I hope you aren't allergic)"

"Who _does_ this kind of thing?" Daichi asks his empty apartment, wondering what kind of ridiculous kinky shit he'd gotten up to last night. Who leaves a bag of cookies after a one night stand? And a sticky note that is super polite? The last bit is even squeezed in, as if the writer put it down as an afterthought and was running out of room. Why is Daichi finding that so cute? What is this, one of those pranking shows?

After glancing around suspiciously, as if expecting a camera crew to pop out from behind his couch, Daichi notices that the glitter trail tapers off somewhere around his front door, and nothing else seems out of place.

"I'm never letting them convince me to go drinking with them again," he vows, making his way to the bathroom – the only room blissfully glitter-free, although he was sure that wasn't going to last, what with how much he was shedding. "Hope I've got some drain cleaner," he says to himself, turning on the water and looking forward to a very _generous_ scrub.

 

…

"And he was such a _sweetheart_ , too, he kept asking me if I was comfortable!" Suga exclaims, rambling on about this _fantastic_ one night stand he'd had to his coworkers Akaashi and Kenma. "And _his thighs_. I swear, if I didn't recognize him, I'd say he were in the industry because those thighs were _to die for_ ," he continues, moving his hands around for emphasis. Switching to a deadpan tone, he stares directly at Akaashi and says, in all seriousness, "I swear I don't have a leg fetish but oh my god that man might have awakened something in me."

Kenma gently shakes his head at Suga's antics, and Akaashi rolls his eyes. "You know we're not supposed to sleep with the customers, Suga," he chides, shuffling through the outfits for the night. "I think this one is part of yours," he says, tossing what looked like a pair of too-small booty shorts at Kenma.

"Thanks," Kenma hums, simply moving the shorts to sit on his lap while he continues to play a game on his phone.

"It'll be fiiiiiiiiiine, Akaashi, Oikawa will never find out, and it was just this once," Suga says, waving his hand at Akaashi's worries. Though Oikawa could be scary when he was mad, he was also willing to let a certain amount of shenanigans slide at the club. A completely consensual one night stand (and nothing more) was certainly on that list… probably. Oikawa was still his boss at the club, so he wasn't going to tell him either way.

"His _thighs_ though, Akaashi. His thighs. You would have understood if only you had seen them." Akaashi only sighs in response and hands Suga his outfit for the night. "He probably won't even look around for me, it's not like I left my name or anything."

"Mhmm. Sure," Akaashi says sarcastically, shooing Kenma off of his table so he could start arranging the color scheme for that night's dance. Lots of multicolored rainbow glitter for the show tonight. "Makeup in thirty."

Suga is about to open his mouth and say something more, but before he could, Iwaizumi pokes his head around the dressing room door. "Suga? Someone's asking after you at the bar, should I send him on his way?"

Suga's eyes widen in surprise as he jumps about a foot and yelps out "WHAT."

After a moment of shock, Suga waves Iwaizumi off, saying he'd handle it himself. As soon as Iwaizumi closes the door behind himself, Suga turns in distress to Akaashi and Kenma. "Dammit, you guys have to help me keep this from Oikawa! I don't wanna get in trouble," he whines, shifting his weight from side to side and fretting.

"You could have just had Iwaizumi send him off…," Kenma shrugs, saving his game and setting it down while Suga began to pace the length of the room.

"No!" He shouts. "If I did that, Oikawa would DEFINITELY have heard about it! You _know_ those two talk," he says, raising his eyebrows and staring back at Kenma. It was the worst kept secret of the club that the owner and their best bouncer were closer than just 'childhood friends.' Huffing, Suga stares at the closed door, dreading what might come of his admittedly rash decisions. He was just so damn _attractive_. Why did he have to be so hot? "How did he know where to come?" He whines.

"He probably had friends with him, most people don't go clubbing by themselves," Kenma reasons, carefully stowing his mobile in a drawer and beginning to strip, so as to get into his outfit for the night.

Akaashi simply stares at Suga, dumbfounded. "…Suga," he finally deadpans, waiting until he has Suga's attention before continuing. "We're _glitter dancers_. There aren't exactly many glitter dance clubs in this town. And before you say anything," he adds, putting up a finger to silence his friend, "you _know_ it gets everywhere."

Suga stares at Akaashi in silence, absently gnawing at his lower lip. "…damn. I didn't think about that. I did _not_ think this through."

Kenma pulls up the skin-tight shorts and doesn't even look up as he quietly comments, "you didn't think about how you literally leave a trail of glitter wherever you go? Sounds like a personal problem to me."

"Whatever you're going to do, you better take care of it fast," Akaashi advises, picking out a set of brushes and pulling the glitter from beneath his desk. "I'll do Kenma first tonight, but you've only got fifteen minutes before you need to be in-costume and ready for makeup. You know this stuff takes forever to set, and I'm _not_ having it fall off in the middle of a routine."

"I promise to be quick – just please don't tell Oikawa about this!" Suga pleads, pressing his palms together and giving Akaashi his best puppy dog pout.

"Fine, fine, go," Akaashi says, shooing Suga out the door and shaking his head. "I sure hope this guy was worth it," he frets after the door has closed behind Suga.

 

 

 

Suga slides behind the bar's counter with a practiced ease, and smiles brightly at their bartender. "Hey Kageyama!" He greets, waving lightly and pretending he _wasn't_ super rushed and worried about current events.

Kageyama simply rolls his eyes and nods in greeting, moving to stand next to Suga as he pulls out glasses for the night. "What kind of mess did you get into this time," he asks incredulously, before muttering, "the one asking after you is the broad guy over at the side there," he adds, pointing behind himself at the opposite side of the bar.

"Thanks!" Suga chimes, winking at Kageyama before he walks over to the other side of the bar, recognizing the man as the guy he'd gone home with the night before. Kageyama just shakes his head, once again wondering why he was friends with his coworkers.

Suga slides up against the counter and leans forward, flashing his most brilliant and winning smile at the stunned Daichi. "Hey, so I can't have you asking around about me, it's gonna get me in trouble, no matter how attractive you are."

Daichi narrows his eyes slightly, seeing a _very_ attractive person, and blushing slightly as he's called attractive, but still having no explanations for the cookies _or_ glitter from the night before. Daichi hums lightly and shakes his head. "Sorry, but I have to figure out what happened last night, and I'm not going away until you tell me."

Before Suga can respond, Kageyama appears behind him and taps his shoulder. "Akaashi wants me to tell you you've got five minutes to get back there," he says with a meaningful glance between the two of them, before stepping back away and getting back to work.

"Alright, ok I'll be right there! Thanks," Suga smiles once more at Kageyama, and turns back to Daichi slightly flustered. "Uhh… alright, uhm, meet me after work, if it's not too much trouble? I get off at three, sorry it's so late, but I don't have time to do this right now. I can tell you what all happened, just _please_ don't cause a ruckus if you stay, or ask around too much, we're really not supposed to sleep with customers, and even if Oikawa lets me keep my job he'd never let me hear the end of it if he sees how hot you are."

Daichi struggles to keep up with how fast Suga is talking, and only gets out a very intelligent "buh" before Suga shouts out his thanks and disappears back into the depths of the club once more.

 

…

 

Daichi steps out, not wanting to cause trouble, and finds he doesn't have many more answers now than he did before he stepped into the club. But he knew at least one very important thing.

Whoever this "Suga" is, he's _extremely_ attractive. Daichi hums contentedly as he mentally pats drunk!Daichi on the back for that one.

"Now, I've got…," he glances at his watch, noting the time, "about five hours to kill." He'd chosen to go to the club late, at 10pm, and now he's glad he did. "Let's see if any of the guys want to go catch a late dinner," he says to himself, already scrolling through his contacts as he walks away from the club.

 

 

He waits impatiently outside of the back door of the club that he'd been directed to by the bouncer, idly wondering about the way he'd smiled slyly at Daichi, as if he knows Daichi is up to no good. But he really isn't up to anything, he's just trying to figure out what happened last night! He jumps when the door opens suddenly in front of him, jostling him out of his thoughts, and Suga ushers him inside, out of the cold.

"Sorry about that!" Suga apologizes, laughing lightly, "I honestly wasn't really expecting you to show up." He rubs at the back of his head, a bit embarrassed, before smiling up at Daichi. "So you wanted to hear about last night?"

Daichi, however, doesn't respond. Instead, he stands, rooted to the spot, his jaw fallen down, and staring at Suga.

Suga is wearing the smallest pair of shorts he's ever seen, if you can even still call them shorts, and the rest of his body is covered in intricately painted designs, every bit of bare skin glittering with the shiny flakes painted on.

When Daichi finally regains use of his brain, only one thing bursts from his mouth.

"THAT EXPLAINS THE GLITTER OH MY GOD."

Suga laughs, sprawling out on a stool in the small room he'd ushered Daichi into. "Haha, yeah, cons of being a glitter dancer: it. Gets. Everywhere."

Daichi feels like his legs are weak with the revelation, and stumbles to sit down on a nearby chair, trying to articulate his whirling thought process. All that comes out, however, is a questioning "glitter… dancer?"

"…you found me without even realizing I was a glitter dancer? _Wow_ , I'm really bad at one night stands," Suga mumbles to himself, before looking back up at Daichi and smiling. "Yeah. Glitter dancers. It's basically like a strip club, but instead of rutting against a pole and taking off clothes, I get covered in glitter body art and dance up on a stage. Last night you approached me and you were a bit tipsy, but seemed pretty in control, so we went back to your place and fucked and then you kiiinda decided to drink a bit more and then conked out? It looked like you were gonna be pretty hungover, and I felt bad about leaving without saying anything, so I left you those cookies as a sort of apology." He sheepishly shrugs his shoulders, brushing one hand through his loose silver hair and not even noticing when a little shower of shiny multicolored flakes rains down.

Daichi is still in utter shock at the entire experience, and stares blankly at the gentle glitter rain that Suga is causing. "Holy fuck," he whispers in disbelief.

Suga can't help but laugh again and joke, "I mean, it was good, but it wasn't _that_ good."

He can't hold back his grin when he watches Daichi's entire face turn red, and he buries his face in his hands, trying to catch what sounds like a muffled "I'm sorry I bothered you I'm just going to go crawl in a hole and die now."

Without meeting Daichi's eyes, Suga allows the man a bit of privacy as he continues, "I mean. Not like I would be averse to doing it again… because. I mean you're hot and your thighs are fantastic, just sayin'," he shrugs, giving those glorious legs a quick once over, "but strictly speaking, we're _really_ not supposed to sleep with customers…"

As Suga speaks, Daichi slowly begins to peek out from behind his fingers, and as Suga trails off, he narrows his eyes slightly in thought. "So… what you're saying… is that when I ask you out for coffee in a minute, I just. Can't. Come back to this club. Problem solved?"

Suga bites his lip in an attempt to stop the smile that threatens to break out across his face, remembering that the reason he'd actually gone home with Daichi in the first place was because he was _sweet_ and had managed to make him laugh. His voice alone had so much hope as it raised up in a question, and Suga finds it sickeningly adorable. Trying to hide how excited he was for the prospect of a normal, glitter-free date with Daichi, he nods. "Coffee sounds great, yeah."

 

…

 

"…and _that's_ how I got the hottest boyfriend around, and also why I can't go back with y'all to the club this weekend," Daichi finishes at lunch with his coworkers two months later, casually reaching forward to finish off his soda. Bokuto and Kuroo's jaws are both dropped, their eyes wide in shock, and Ushijima is simply nodding, as if the entire story makes perfect sense.

"What the _shit_ , Daichi," Kuroo hisses in shock at the same time that Bokuto shouts out, "NICE GOING BRO!"

Daichi smirks, and gives Bokuto the high five he was so obviously dying to get, and pretends it's only in passing when he mentions, "by the way, we're going to be doing a group barbeque next week. You should come, I think you'd like some of his coworkers – even you, Wakatoshi."

Ushijima hums, and nods thoughtfully while eating his sandwich, while Bokuto hoots in excitement and Kuroo attempts to shake off the shock that stuck like glitter that stubbornly sticks on sweaty skin.

**Author's Note:**

> for everyone who, like my BELOVED beta reader emsy, are like "BUT CLOUDY. How did Daichi not realize Suga covers himself in glitter and shakes his booty and gets paid for it? How did he not realize THE CLUB had glitter dancers? WHERE WAS THE CLUB ADVERTISING THO HOW DID HE MISS THIS????" I have, for you, the answer: dAICHI IS A THICKHEADED DINGUS FOOL. Ok but really he was probably so focused on it that he didn't even notice the advertising bc it was dark/night time, but the club wasn't hoppin' bc HE WENT AT 10pm LIKE A GRANDPA AND CALLED IT "LATE" and therefore no performers were up there. 
> 
> When he accuses Bokuto and Kuroo of leaving him out in the cold on this one they just shrug  
> Bokuto: u looked pretty enamored with the dancer, dude  
> Daichi: good point, he was beautiful. *glares at kuroo* WHAT'S UR EXCUSE  
> Kuroo: *shrugs* I just thought it'd be funny as fuck
> 
> (pls leave kudos and/or comments bc I live for them thanks)


End file.
